Stumbling on the Path -
Hearing things the first time

By Andrew Benioff, 2nd dan


[Editor's note: Andrew Benioff began budo training in general in 1982 and Aikido in particular in 1988. After spending 1 year with Yoshioka Sadao Shihan in Hawaii and 3 years in Japan, he currently practices at San Francisco Aikikai and holds the rank of Shodan].

As an American living and working in Japan and studying the Japanese language I have never felt more off balance in my life. I always felt that I was a flexible and adaptable person but I must admit that my first months of my Japanese experience, many years ago now, were something that tested my equilibrium. Obviously, when one is learning a new language, listening skills are of paramount importance. I found myself concentrating on the conversations of people sitting next to me on the bus ride to work only to be frustrated when it was my stop and I had to disembark without having understood the focus of their conversation. It took me nearly one year to decipher my bus drivers' whispered announcement of "Hsh shush itush shmushƒ" into the correct "Hasshya itashimasu" or "We are departing now".

On an outing with some friends, after recently arriving in my foreign home, I was doing my best to use my newfound language skills. The conversation took a turn for the worse when my acquaintances began asking me about my culinary likes and dislikes. I was having quite a bit of difficulty keeping up with the conversation and my stubbornness prevented me from admitting that I wasn't able to catch all of the new verbiage being thrown my way. Before long, I had backed myself into a corner by declaring that I was fond of certain animal parts that I had truthfully never tried in my life. I learned very quickly that I needed work on my listening skills and that I should never be embarrassed to ask a question if I did not understand the vocabulary being used.

My teacher always taught us that no matter how many times he told us something and no matter how many times we witnessed a lesson, unless we had personally experienced it we would never truly have absorbed it. This, of course, included making mistakes. Mistakes, he always said, were the best way to learn because they are very helpful in cementing the lesson. One error and you have a strong incentive, once corrected, to fix the issue in question. I, like most budoka, have made many blunders on my travels down the path. I hope to have learned from them, at least a little, and so will try to recount some of these oversights in etiquette for future travelers to learn from. Of course, until you err on your own, you will not really have learned.

In our classes, we of course practiced ukemi, suwari waza, tachi waza, suburi etc. but in addition to these, part of every class was set aside for a lecture. Sometimes they were 30 seconds and sometimes more than 5 minutes. We were required to sit in seiza and listen quietly. After I had just begun in this class, we were receiving our daily lecture from one of the senior instructors and my mind had begun to wander. I was imagining what a wonderful day at the beach that I was going to enjoy after this class was through. I only paid attention when the instructor was finishing his oration. What he had been talking about perked my interest but I had not heard the whole thing, just the end.

In order to put some notes into my notebook for further study, I approached the instructor after the class was over and asked him to repeat the story he had just related. He politely refused and explained that if the instructor is describing something in class and this subject is of interest to you, listen carefully. You should try to remember the specific points and words of the lecture on your own without asking without having to ask the teacher. This will promote a sharper set of listening and alertness skills. If you have forgotten part of what was said you should research it on your own, this is part of the challenge. Of course, if you have completely forgotten, never fear, the same stories are usually repeated again and next time you will be ready.

My notebook is now full and I have learned to listen and pay attention on my own. It is the student's responsibility, and no one else's, to "steal" both techniques and points of etiquette from the teacher. Nowhere does it say that the teacher must spoon-feed the students.

Kokoro wo migaku.