How did you start practicing Aikido?

I was dancing seriously when a dancer friend suggested it. So, in 1975 I went to the New York Aikikai and I walked up the stairs and a class was going on. Yamada Sensei was teaching this class and it was packed. Yamada sensei was very dynamic and powerful. There was tons of energy and I was completely mesmerized. From the moment I saw it I knew it was for me. That's what I happened. I started the next day.

What was it like at New York Aikikai at that time?

I would say for my first few years I was a true Aikido fanatic. I was attracted to the energy of the place. It was so focused and serious but also fun. We were all young then. And everybody was working really hard and sweating but also having a great time. It was already a big family. Everybody was friends and having fun and working hard.

What was it that attracted you to Aikido so much?

I ended up giving up dance and moving into the Aikido world. It happened very naturally. Aikido was actually more satisfying for me. Early on in my twenties I was trying to be a professional dancer and it became clear to me that really wasn't going to happen. But Aikido really helped me find a way that I could incorporate physical movement with an intellectual process. It gave me so many aspects of what I had had with dance but more--it gave me more. And so it took the place of dance and became something that helped me focus my life and figure out what I was going to do with it. It was a daily activity that added to my life.

What kind of lifestyle did you have at that time?

I worked as a waitress so I had my days free. We had cash to go out at night. Everybody came to the dojo, all of the unemployed people came to the dojo in the daytime and we could take two or three classes a day and just work out as much as we liked.

On Saturdays and Sundays, we could come to the dojo three times a day. At that time I had a job but it was at night, and it was flexible, so I could go to seminars as well. I was lucky to be young and have a flexible schedule and so I was able to dive into it. It was something new and really exciting. And very intense.

All of my contemporaries at that time were training just as hard as I was and we were all having a great time. We would follow Yamada sensei around to seminars. We had people around who were more advanced than us who were great role models. There was so much to learn and it was so much fun. Learning it and doing it - training.

Was it a supportive environment?

I feel that especially under Yamada sensei and especially at New York Aikikai I've been very supported as a woman. I think one of the reasons I joined Aikido at a good time because there was so much support. There were a lot of women practicing. There were some great women teachers. There was Cybilla Hahn who was tall and strong and dynamic and a really good teacher, and Jane Ozeki who is still around and is still powerful and tiny and a very good teacher.

Having women role models was very important because from the beginning myself, and the three or four other women that I came up with, felt that there were no obstacles for us. We saw that we would be teaching if we kept going. We saw that we could be a strong in our way as anyone else at the dojo so, it was very inspiring. It was also very inspiring to see, you know Jane is a petite woman and how amazing she is.

And the men were also very inspirational and really good to all the women -- there were a lot of us. And they always encouraged us, we were not held back in any way, by being women. It was a group of people who were very compatible and just working hard, and everybody was helping, and you helped the next group of people too --it was kind of inspirational. All in all, I had a lot of great models coming up along the way both in New York and in other places.

When did you start teaching?

I got my shodan in three and a half years, something like that, after all of that fanatical training, and I started teaching right afterwards. I had been teaching the children's class for a few years before that but after my shodan I was given a class, a Sunday morning class and I found that I really liked teaching. I found that it was a good way to change the focus of my training and began to study why I was doing things a certain way, what worked, what didn't work.

What is your approach to teaching?

My dance background helped because I was good at looking at movement so I could walk around a classroom and see what people were doing, and figure out what I hadn't been able to communicate or what I had, or just see how people's movement could be changed to help them do the technique better. So, I think my dance background really helped me in teaching.

I found that teaching is a very specific thing and you learn so much from it. And some people are more gifted at teaching than others. I think to be a good teacher you have to just learn to put out the information. Although some people may get it and some people may not, it's important to not be too attached to it. You just put it out there because you believe in it. You just show the techniques and you try to tell people how to do this or don't use too much strength, and sometimes someone will understand what you mean right away and its very gratifying. Or, someone might understand something a year later when you are not around, but it doesn't matter. You jut try to help people along the path and that's a great thing.

Do you think you faced special challenges because you were a woman?

I don't know if I've ever been the only woman on the mat but there is certainly a challenge component to all the young strong males who want to say, "I know you're a higher rank than me but you know I'm really very good, I'm really very strong and I 'm sure I can stop you." But you can't get stuck there. When people challenge you it is important to just look past it and just move on. You can always change your movement; you can always do something else. You know, you can get stopped sometimes if you make a mistake but you can always change what you're doing and move through it.

I think that maybe women have to be more aggressive about wanting to teach and put it out there that they're available and they want it because the opportunities are there.

Have you found that men react differently to a woman instructor?

What I've found is that if there is a class full of men sometimes they are very receptive and sometimes they're not. But I try to be the same way. I try to be how I am and reflect how I am as a person and what it is I have to offer in terms of Aikido and not let my ego be bothered by someone who is challenging me or maybe not taking me seriously in some way.

Sometimes when you teach and there are men in the class who are very strong and you know that they want to challenge you, that's sometimes a problem but not an insurmountable one. You just change what you do or you change the focus of what you're trying to teach that person. But I feel that all along being a woman has not been a problem especially being in New York I've gotten a lot of support. There are a lot of women there and they're very strong and very active.

You've taught classes at major seminars. What is that like?

I've had lots of opportunities to teach, I've traveled, I've taught seminars in lots of places, I've taught in the south of France, and other great places.

Teaching at summer camp, especially the first time or two, is very intimidating because there are so many people and there are so many people of a higher rank than you and they're all in your class and you want to do well. And want to look good and all of that but you also want to offer something that is…you want it to be something personal so you want to try to find what it is that is special to you and to offer that.
In that sense it's always helped me to try to figure things out for myself and I always learn a lot when I'm in those very intimidating situations because it helps me focus on what the message is -- what I'm trying to get across when I show a technique and walk around the room and help people to do it. It helps you find your strengths in Aikido I think.

What is the relationship between technique and spontaneous movement?

It's a great feeling that you get when someone attacks you and you don't plan. I really like it when I don't plan, and I just get up there and I do something and it works. For me it's about training your instincts so when I teach I put myself in a position that is a little bit uncomfortable because I'm not sure I'm going to pull it off or maybe I won't look as good as if I had planned the movement and told my uke exactly what I am going to do. But it helps me realize that Aikido really works. It's about an energy coming towards you and what you do with it. And you can do anything.

So, when I teach I try to focus on that energy and that blending and try to make people see that it's not just about the technique although technique is important. It's about what you do with this energy that is coming towards you. And so that's been my focus.

Do women bring a particular perspective to Aikido?

I think that one of the benefits of being a women is that you have a different perspective. You're not trying to prove yourself physically and so right from the get-go you can have a broader perspective on what you're doing there. Why you're doing Aikido. Why it works for you as a woman and it's not about being the most powerful or the strongest.

Even just the repetition of daily practice, it can be boring a repetitive sometimes, but getting through that and finding that there is something when you're on the mat and you're not thinking that you're just doing it, that it's good to know that it is an activity that can go on for the rest of your life because it's not stuck in being in a certain physical condition or being powerful in a certain way.

Have you ever had to use Aikido on the street?

I've never been attacked and I've never had to use Aikido but I think the main thing for me especially living in New York City, I think Aikido really trains your awareness and I think that you learn that when you walk around you're not the person that gets attacked. I think that's really one of the benefits is that you're not a victim. When you train you develop a sense of confidence and strength but awareness. Definitely, so that you're not the person who is vulnerable and you're not the person that gets attacked and I think that's been very important. And it's important for everyone.

What advice do you have for beginning Aikidoists?

Train as hard as you can when you're young. Watch everyone around you, watch the men, watch the women. Find from everyone what it is that speaks to you, that touches you. What classes do you like the best and why? Because they're the most exciting or the most fun or you learn the most? Who speaks the language that you can understand? Who moves in a way that feels good to you? Just watch everybody and everything. And then eventually find your own path--and have a great time!